Busy Child

I promise, promise, promise to post about the wedding. But first...

I can't help feeling that a large part of me is still a very hyper child. When I was young, I would scare my mother with my flips off the back of the couch, cartwheels in our dangeroulsy narrow kitchen, and record-breaking bathtub submerges. Part of that spirit was broken during late elementary school (that's another story) during which I became introverted. I've always had a dichotmoy being of personable/shy, hyper/tired. Now, as an adult, I get this tired energy which turns into mental energy. The more I do, the more I feel I have to do more. If I stop, I crash. Part of me feels the appeal of the physicalty of getting this energy out as I did when I was a child, releasing it by just running or something. But I get home, sit on the couch and I think, god, I don't want to go anywhere. It's where my cleanliness and orgnization comes from but it's also the only source of chaos for me -- if I get too many things going it can be messy. I have this child, this energy inside, but I stifle it, for better or worse.