Perspective

I've had two dreams now in my life where I've been so incredibly distraught by the fact that I can't be with either 1) Robert Smith or 2) Johnny Depp. As in realistically have a long term relationship with them. They are the saddest dreams I've ever had, they just ruin my day. That doesn't seem right, that that's what my subconscious really cares about.

(P.S. I love you Beau!)

I'm Such an Adult

I'm so mature (please disregard the photo below this post). I just bought a new Queen sized bed, went mattress shopping, and bought special frames at an actual frame store.

I feel almost decadent looking at this queen bed. It's ginormous. I'm gonna miss Beau at night.

Ok, here's a survey. Beau likes California King sized beds. I say California Kings are absurd and only for spouses who dislike each other so much that they avoid any possible contact with each other at night while maintaining the "facade" of marriage. (Disclaimer: I know that's not a fact, Beau's parents have a Cal. King, but they are big people. I just think that's a possible reason.)

Cal. King: good or bad? Discuss.

Disarmed by cuteness

This photo makes me speechless...

I miss you.

I can’t stop thinking about you. Dreaming about you. Hypothesizing what you would say if you were here, if you only knew. Being tricked into thinking you are still here when you are not.

Everything reminds me of you. I want to hold on to pieces of you, pieces that are already fading and disseminating. I have pictures, which only make me feel worse. Make me feel worse because they represent times I cannot remember. I am tiny, and you have a look of love on your face. You’ve loved me for so long, even when I didn’t realize it. I hadn’t realized how much I rely on your silent support and implied unconditional love. I still do I guess, I just don’t know how. I want to send you an email. I want to get a reply. I want to send pictures, see pictures. I want you to enjoy all the things I know you loved here. I don’t want them to go away. I didn’t want you to go away, not yet. It’s never going to feel right and no one can understand. Empathize, but not understand. You made me feel more important and special than anyone could. Everything I did was right and now I don’t know where to go. I know it’s not going to pass. I keep thinking there is something I can do to change things. But there’s not. You’re gone and that’s it, I just have to learn to feel this new feeling. It’s always in the back of my heart, constant, a calm love combined with an angry longing.

I miss my grandparents.

"Friendship is Rare"

Yes, the D had it right with that one. I had a wonderful weekend, a dream weekend I dare say. Having not seen any friends (family does not count) since the beginning of finals, I vowed to hunt down anyone I could and have fun with them.

I succeeded. This weekend I saw not one, not two, not ten, but FOURTEEN friends! How's that for efficient fun time? Dinner on Friday, Getty Villa trip Saturday morning, club Saturday night, and shopping Sunday. ahh. memories. Now, it's back to reading.

P.S. I also got these shoes. On sale. Damn, it was a good weekend.



And no, this is not turning into a shoe blog, I swear.

Mmm, obsession... Part 2

I cannot help myself! They are just too cool. They are my dream boots. And comfortable. Boots obsession part 2, here I come!

I'm Baaack

Back from 3 weeks of ignoring everything, which was wonderful! Now, I have piles of law school reading to do. Waah. I wanna go back to Florida.

Speaking of which, here are some pics!